Buffy, The Video Slayer
by Ldynwaitin
Summary: Set in the seventh season. Buffy finds herself trapped in her Videos. Traveling from one video to the next, she must find a way back home. How will she get out? Who will help her? How many parodies can I cram into one story? Tune in to find out..
1. The Yellow Brick Road to Hogwarts

**Buffy, the Video Slayer or**

**There's no place like Sunnydale!**

**By Ldynwaitin**

**Chapter One – The Yellow Brick Road to Hogwarts**

Buffy slowly walked down the sidewalk that led to her home. Hearing some shouting coming from inside, she sighed, "Welcome to Summerdale, population sixteen and growing."

She opened the door and saw Xander arguing with Andrew in front of the television.

"It's my turn to pick what we see!" Andrew moaned.

"I refuse to see Attack of the clones for the fifth time!" Xander growled. "If I hear you say Yo-da man one more time, I'm going to…!"

"Guys, what's the problem here?" Buffy said.

"Hey Buffy, don't stop them. I think Andrew can take him," Anya said.

"Buffy, did you get the pigs blood from the butchers shop?" Spike said, as he entered the room.

"Poor Babe," Andrew muttered.

"Perhaps you'd consider volunteering," Spike said.

"Buffy, I'm glad you're here," Willow said. She walked into the room carrying a large book. "I was working on something to help us."

"I helped!" Dawn said. She was grinning from ear to ear. "I found the passage, didn't I Willow."

"Did someone call a meeting?" Giles asked. Buffy realized that she either had to get rid of some of her friends, or get a bigger front room.

"Give me that!" Xander snarled. Andrew had grabbed several DVD's that he was holding.

"Listen up," Willow said. "I think I found something that may stop the First evil."

Buffy suddenly found herself in the center of a brawl. "Enough!" she shouted. She grabbed the DVD's that Xander and Andrew was fighting over. Pulling it out of their hands, she fell back, and into Willow. Falling to the floor, Buffy saw the large book coming down on her head. Suddenly everything went black. She faintly heard someone calling her name.

"Buffy…Buffy, are you all right?"

She struggled to open her eyes, they refused to listen to her. After much debate, she managed to get them to open. Once open, she wondered if she should have listened to them and kept them closed.

Before her, she saw the strangest sight. Willow was dressed in a shimmering blue skirt and blouse. Her head was halloed in red curls.

"Are you all right?" she said.

"I'm fine, I think," she sighed.

"Let me help you," Xander said. Taking her hand, she was surprised to feel it was ice cold. Standing up, she was shocked to see Xander's skin had suddenly taken on a silver sheen.

"Is she dead? She was dead before, sometimes it's hard to tell with her. Are you dead?" Anya said. Buffy shook her head, she could swear she saw straw growing out of Anya's hair.

"I was so scared?" Spike moaned. Buffy had to shake her head for the second time. Spike was only wearing black pants. The muscles of his chest rippled, as he stared at her with concern. She leaned in, wanting a scent of his manliness. Spike blushed, his face suddenly morphed. Buffy nearly choked, when she saw whiskers poking out of his face.

"Okay, hold the boat," Buffy said. "Spike has whiskers."

"Oooo, I wish I had whiskers," Dawn whined.

Buffy plopped down on a chair, "This is a dream, has to be a dream," she whispered.

She heard voices chanting from the basement. "What is that?" Buffy said.

"Those are the potentials," Willow said. "I came here to protect them from Faith, the wicked slayer from the west-side."

"You'd better get them some lollypops," Anya said. "That'll quiet them down. You know what happens if slayers in training don't get their lollypops. They begin to multiply, and grow long ears, and fluffy tails, and…"

"Calm down Anya," Xander said. "No need to get excited. Unfortunately, I do not know how it feels to get excited. For I have a black hole, where my heart used to rest."

"Darn, I wish I had a dark hole in my chest," Dawn sighed.

"Jeez," Anya groaned. "Would you give it a rest, Xander. You were only left with a dark hole, I had to figure out what to do with all that food. You can't give away day old cocktail wieners! I was stuck with a bar tab that would break the economy of Russia. Not to mention some very ugly guests, that wouldn't leave."

"Didn't the demons leave right away?" Willow said.

"I was talking about his relatives!"

"I know, I'm sleeping. I must be sleeping," Buffy said. She stood up, and began to nervously pace the floor. "I just have to wake up." She let out a yipe, as she pinched herself. Spike jumped in the air, his whiskers nervously twitched, "What did you do that for?" he shouted.

"Calm down Spike, it's okay," Willow said, as she gently stroked his head. Letting out a low purr, his face morphed back to his human form.

"Okay, this is not a dream, it's a nightmare," Buffy declared. "I can do nightmares."

Her pace took on a more anxious vein. "I was hit on the head, perhaps the book had a spell on it? The old, hit on the head and end up in another dimension routine. Second time I've fallen for that in two years."

"I wish I could rant like Buffy," Dawn said. It was then that Buffy noticed that Dawn was wearing a choker, or was it a collar?

Backing up, she hit the television, knocking some DVD's off the top shelf, they hit her on the head. Suddenly everything went black, she faintly heard someone say.

"Buffy…Buffy, are you all right?"

This time her eyes demanded that they stay shut. They were overruled by a strong tug on her arm. Opening her eyes, she saw Willow looking at her with concern. The blue skirt was replaced with a long black robe.

"Are you feeling all right Buffy? I know of a spell that can help you," said Willow.

Buffy looked around, she saw she was standing in a railroad station. Giles was standing next to Willow. He now sported a very long beard. "Now, now Willow, you know you are not allowed to perform magic with Muggles about," said Giles, in a hoarse voice. He pointed to the people bustling around the station.

"This is no good," whispered Buffy. "I only saw the previews of this movie."

"Buffy, are you well?" Giles gently asked her.

"If by your definition well means I'm feeling normal, I'd say the answer to that is a rounding…Gosh no." She let out a hiss, "I forgot, this was rated G, I can't swear."

"Well if it isn't Buffy Potter," someone said. Buffy saw Spike walking towards her. He looked rich, and spoiled. He swaggered to her, stopping, he slammed his suitcase on the floor. "Once we reach the academy, I cannot wait to resume our game of Quidditch. I shall beat you soundly Buffy Potter, for I have a new broom that my father purchased for me."

"Buffy is not going to Hogwarts, there is a greater evil that heeds her attention," said Giles.

"The First Evil?" said Buffy.

"Not at all, we must protect that," said Giles.

She saw a giant spider web at the end of the station. She saw many letters weaved in the web. She was able to make out, Facebook, Twitter, Fanfiction, and youtube, from the hundreds on the web.

"What's is it?" muttered Buffy.

"It is called The Web, in it lies many allies," said Giles. "Powerful allies whose loyal followers grow stronger each day."

"TROLLS!" shouted Spike. He pointed behind them. Several large trolls came lumbering towards them.

"By the heavens," gasped Giles. "We must protect the web. We cannot allow the trolls to crash it."

Buffy was about to join in the battle, until she saw a bag filled with DVD's. "Please let this work," she whispered. The trolls were getting closer, she sprinted to the bag, reaching it seconds before the trolls reached her. Taking one of the DVD's, she hugged it as a large fist came down on her head. Suddenly everything went black, she faintly heard someone say,

"Buffy, Buffy are you all right?"


	2. Jedi Knightmare

**Buffy, the Video Slayer or**

**There's no place like Sunnydale!**

**By Ldynwaitin**

**Chapter Two – Jedi Knightmare**

Opening her eyes, she saw Spike holding her hand. "Buffy, are you well?" he beseeched her. He helped her to stand. She searched around, trying to recognize where she woke up. Her knees suddenly felt weak when she saw two suns setting on the horizon.

"Is my padwan well, Prince Spike?" Giles asked her.

"Now this movie I did see," Buffy said. "That makes me a Jedi Knight…Cool!"

"What is this movie that you speak of my young apprentice?" Giles asked her.

"I think I may have a problem with my memory, can you tell me why we're here?"

"The Jedi council has appointed us to protect Prince Spike from Dark Faith."

Spike gently smiled at her. He was dressed in a metallic blue shirt, opened to reveal his tanned chest. Buffy let out a pleased sigh. "I think I may want to stay here a little longer." Her hand reached up, to touch his smooth chest. His arm wrapped around her waist, he leaned down to whisper into her ear, "I doubt that we could ever surpass what we had last night."

"We could try," she said.

"No Buffy, we could never reach a higher plane then what we achieved last night."

"I believe you kept the palace awake the entire night," Giles said.

"It was the entire night?" Buffy moaned.

"I never imagined what a Jedi Knight was capable of," Spike said, with a chuckle.

"Um, I have a few more moves. Can I show them to you?" she pleaded with him.

His finger reached up, to touch her lips. "That my love, is the only place it does not hurt after last night."

"Oh why didn't I appear last night?" Buffy moaned.

"Hey B, miss me?" Buffy heard Faith call out. Giles immediately pulled his light saber out, Buffy found she was also holding hers.

"Get behind us Prince Spike, we shall protect you," Giles said. "You shall not pass Faith. You may have moved to the dark side of the force, but you are no match for two Jedi Knights."

"Three Jedi's there is," someone shouted from behind. A small green creature limped to join them.

"Andrew?" Buffy gasped. "Is that you?" She was shocked to see a mini-version of Andrew. His skin was green, and his ears wiggled when he spoke.

"Andrew I am, but call me Yo I will allow," he replied.

"Okay, I've just become a permanent resident of crazy world."

"You may be right B," Faith said. "Being crazy is the price we pay for being a Jedi, right girlfriend? Although I consider myself, wicked crazy."

"I suppose I should be saying, why are you here?" Buffy said. "I hope I won't regret it."

"I'm here to destroy the Jedi Knights."

"You will not win, Faith," Giles hissed. "For we have a secret weapon."

"Oh yeah Giles? Whatcha gonna do? Bore me to death by watching you clean your glasses? You know I can beat you in a saber battle."

"Bored you may be, but my light saber has always been bigger than yours," Yo said.

"Yo!" Faith said. "I am so going to wipe this planet with your green butt!"

"Butt you may wipe, but I will flush the dark side from your heart," Yo said.

"And how are you going to do that?" Faith said.

"We prepared for your coming," Giles said. "Can you defeat, the Potentials?"

Everyone jumped back, as a hoard of potentials swarmed out of the ground, and rushed to Faith.

"I want to go home…I'm hungry…Do you like my hat?…I need to use the washroom," they all began to say.

"Get out of my way!" Faith screamed. She tried to fight her way through.

"Hit them, I do foresee," Yo shouted. "For it is well known how low you stooped to get where you are."

Faith ignited her light saber. She immediately cut two potentials in half. They both fell to the ground, suddenly they shimmered, and soon four potentials now stood where there were two.

"Soon you will find yourself under a tide of potentials," Giles shouted.

She halved two more potentials. She was soon overwhelmed by the young girls. "How the hell do you get rid of them!"

"When you figure that out, let me know," Buffy shouted. "I've been trying for the past few episodes!"

The battle did not last long, Faith was forced to retreat. "I'll get you Buffy Skywalker, and your little dog too!" (Sorry readers, couldn't resist)

"The Potentials drove dark Faith away," Spike declared.

Buffy felt his soft arms hug her to him. Spinning in his embrace, she gazed up at his smiling blue eyes. "At last we can marry," he said.

"Marriage not in stars, when going home you must do," Yo said. She saw Yo holding a DVD in his hand. "No!" she shouted. "Can't it wait for a day or two, or a week? A month sounds good."

"Sorry Buffy, but belong here you don't. No good will come from your marriage. Many days of hot, erotic sex is not the life of a Jedi Knight. Make right I must do."

"How about you send me back when I can't walk anymore?"

Yo suddenly hopped towards her. It was so quick she didn't have a chance to move out of his way. She quickly leaned in, to kiss Spike on the lips, just before Yo touched her with the DVD. As he passionately returned her kiss, she suddenly blacked out. She faintly heard someone say,

"Buffy, Buffy are you all right?"

She quickly opened her eyes. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Xander standing over her. He threw out his hand, and helped her up.

"Buffy we were so frightened for you," Willow said.

"Willow, you won't believe what's happened to me."

"Look out!" Anya shouted. A demon lumbered by, Spike rushed to it. Pulling his hand back, he slapped it in the face.

"Ow!" Buffy heard the demon exclaim in a very human sounding voice.

"That's it, cut!" Someone shouted. Suddenly the dark cemetery they were standing in was flooded with light.

"Sorry Dave, did I hurt you?" Spike said.

Buffy saw the demon tugging on his head. She slowly stepped back as he pulled off a mask, to reveal a human.

"That's okay James," Dave said. "It wasn't you, I hit my back on one of the tombstones."

"Okay, who forgot to put in the balsa wood tombstone?" the man that yelled cut shouted.

"Sarah, don't forget that you and Freddie are invited for dinner," Willow told her.

"Sarah?" Buffy whispered.

"Alyson, Emma and I are going to get some snacks while they reset the scene. Want to come?" Xander asked her.

"Sure thing Nick." She patted Buffy on the arm. "Don't over due things," she said. "Wouldn't want Freddie to be upset."

"Who the heck is Freddie?" she mumbled.

"I guess the honeymoon is over," Emma sung.

"We'll talk later," Alyson mouthed, as she began to walk away.

"I don't want to talk later, I want to go back to my home in Sunnydale."

"Um Buffy, did you get a good nights rest?" Nick asked her. "I know a new marriage is taxing."

"Married! I'm Married?" she gasped.

Buffy was totally confused. As she searched around, she saw she was on some kind of television set. Everyone here were either actors, directors or stagehands. She had no idea how she was going to get out of this setting. She saw Spike standing off to the side. He was strumming a guitar, and singing a tune.

She rushed over to him, praying that he could help her get back to her own world. "Spike," she hissed.

"Hey Sarah, what do you think of the new song?" he said. It was then that Buffy noticed that he was not talking in an English accent. In fact, his whole demeanor shouted, rock star.

"I need to rest," she said. "I seem to have forgotten where my home…I mean the set for my home is." She began to wander off the cemetery scene.

"Sarah, you can't walk away. We need you for this scene," a man began to shout to her.

"Listen!" she said. Suddenly the set was quiet. "I need to study my lines. I had a hard day, I mean night with Freddie."

"Pay up," one of the stagehands said. "I told you they wouldn't last a year."

"Just give me a second," she said. She hurried off the set. She rushed down several dark corridors. She passed by the basement set, and a large set that looked amazingly like the Bronze. Finally she found her house, or half of her house. The back was totally open to allow room for the cameras.

She rushed to the television. She saw several DVD's stacked there. Hugging them to her body, she waited for the transformation to begin. After a few minutes, she could hear faint shouts.

"Sarah, we need you for the scene, NOW!"

"Darn," she hissed. "That's not going to work. I need to find a way to knock myself out."

"Best get back to the set," she heard James say. She saw him standing at the end of the set. He looked so much like Spike that her heart ached.

"So, you like to sing?" she asked him.

"Every chance I can get," he replied. "I love the contact I get with the audience. It's not the same when we do television. You can't see your fans on the other side of the lens."

Buffy thought it was so strange to hear him speaking in an American accent. As she began to hope she might be able to confide in him, several people swarmed into the room.

"James, you have several messages," a woman said. "Your agent said that TV guide wants an interview with you. Lucas left a message to see you, and Ms. Clairol wants to start a new line of hair dye. They want to call it, Spike White."

"Ms Geller," a woman gushed, as she rushed to her. "Your hair is a mess, let me fix it."

"That will have to wait, she is supposed to be training now," a muscular man said.

"She has to study her lines," a woman holding a script insisted.

"Help me!" Buffy squeaked.

"Such is the life of a star," she heard James say from beyond the crowd of people around her.

"But I don't want to be a star, I want to be go back to the quiet life of a slayer," she shouted. She tried to back away from the entourage. Slipping on a rug, she fell back and hit her head on the tables edge. "Thank you," she whispered, as she blacked out. She faintly heard someone say,

"Buffy, Buffy are you all right?"


	3. Spike: International Vampire of Mystery

**Buffy, the Video Slayer or**

**There's no place like Sunnydale!**

**By Ldynwaitin**

**Chapter Three – Spike: International Vampire of Mystery**

Her eyes insisted on opening, but this time she refused to listen to them.

"Very well," she heard someone say. "If you insist. I will just have to kiss you awake."

She felt warm lips touching hers, hands caressing her face. She felt a tingle at the tip of her toes. Slowly she opened her eyes. She saw it was Spike kissing her, but he was wearing the most god-awful pair of black glasses. "Can't resist my mojo baby," he said, with a smirk. Using her hands, she pushed him back.

Standing up, he grinned at her, licking his lips he said, "You are a tease Buffy, Oh behave."

He was dressed in a crushed black velvet top and pants. Standing next to him was Willow and Giles. Willow was dressed in a stripped mini-skirt. Giles was wearing a very proper suit and pants.

"Pussy Willow, will you see that Ms Buffy is all right," Spike said.

"Willow?" Buffy whispered, as she gently smiled at her.

"Never fear Buffy, Spike will find a way to send you home."

"Yes Buffy. I do believe your story that you came from a different dimension. I myself have traveled through time. I feel that the First Evil may have a part in this."

"Quite right Spike," Giles said. "But I fear Ms Buffy's problem may have to wait. For several operatives have found that the First Evil has plans on replacing heads of states with his evil clones."

"We can't let him get away with that Giles!" Spike gasped. "Although with the way the countries are being run, who would notice?"

"Spike!" Giles gasped.

"Keep your knickers on Giles, I was only joking."

"We've received information that the First Evil brought the old high school in the center of Sunnydale."

"Old high school, hang on Giles," Spike said. He began to pace the room. "Why would First Evil be interested in a high school filled with obnoxious children?"

"Spike, remember you were once a child," Willow scolded him.

"Oh sorry baby, as they say today, my bad. It was just not a good time in my life."

"Bad childhood?" Buffy asked Willow.

"Bad acne," Willow whispered to her. "He was nicknamed, pizza face with everything on it."

"That's bad." Buffy said.

"Why would First Evil be so interested in that High School?" Spike said.

"Could it be that it was built over the hellmouth?" Buffy offered.

"Hold on," Spike said. "Didn't I hear somewhere that it was built over the hellmouth?"

"Yeah, that would be me."

"Good god Spike, do you know what that means?" Giles gasped.

"Yeah baby, he must have gotten it really cheap, tricky devil."

"No Spike," Giles said. "I am sure that the First Evil plans on trying to open the Hellmouth, releasing unspeakable evil from the bowels of the earth."

"Sounds like my graduation class," Spike mumbled.

"We must try to stop him!" Willow declared.

"Right on Pussy Willow, we're going to defeat the First Evil, and put a gag on that hellmouth."

"This just can't get any worse," Buffy mumbled.

"You must stay here, Buffy," Spike said.

"Oh no I'm not, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Sorry baby, but I can't possibly put your life in any more danger. We're professionals."  
Buffy slammed her fist into Spikes stomach. She was very impressed when it bounced off his rock hard abs. Kicking up, she knocked him flat on the floor. Straddling him, she held her arms crossed over his neck.

"Is that professional enough for you?"

"Certainly got my attention, baby," he choked.

Buffy grimaced, "God I hope that's your gun I'm sitting on."

"Sure is baby, my double barrel of love."

Buffy suddenly jumped up, her face suddenly blushing deep red. "Let's go," she mumbled,

Giles led Buffy out the door, Spike whispered to Willow, "I think I'm in love, Pussy Willow."

"Spike, you always fall in love with the client," Willow sighed.

"Yeah but this one is different baby, special. She's beautiful, articulate, eloquent, intelligent, sassy…"

"And, could it also be because she was able to make Mr. Happy stand at attention?"

Spike let out a low purr, "That too baby, that too."

Hours later, they were making their way through the basement of the High School. "I would have thought the hellmouth would have chosen a more high class high school to open under," Spike said

"We need to get to that hellmouth, and stop the First Evil from opening it," Giles said. "Releasing unholy demons that he will use to create clones of the leaders of the free world."

"Years ago I would say that sounds like a bad movie, nowadays, I'm not to sure," Buffy said. "Over there," she pointed towards a large door. "Last time I was here, the hellmouth was over there."

Spike and Giles tugged on the large steel double doors. As they tugged, Buffy noticed that her stomach felt queasy. It was then they she realized that they were moving. "Um guys, I don't think that will work."

"We almost have it," Spike grunted.

Suddenly the darkness was overtaken by a flood of light. They were standing on a platform that had fully rotated into the room. It was huge, going down several levels. In front of them, sitting on a small chair, was a pale, bald headed man.

"Xander!" Buffy gasped.

"We meet again, Spike Powers," Xander said. He stroked a white bunny that sat in his lap.

"No Buffy, he no longer goes by that name," Spike told her. "He is my arch nemesis, Doctor First Evil."

Xander's little finger whipped up to the edge of his mouth. His eyes gleamed with wickedness "Welcome to my evil abode. Sorry for the way it looks. I got it as a fixer upper. But it's amazing what you can do in a short time with a bit of paint and some curtains, right Anya?"

Buffy saw Anya dressed in a black leather skirt and blouse. She slapped a whip on her leg. "Yes Doctor, you have done wonders wit de place," she said with a strong German accent.

"Yes, if you would have raided me a week later Spike, I would have had the Jacuzzi and ice cream maker installed. No Evil abode is complete without them."

"We're not here for chit chat, Doctor First Evil," Spike said. "We've come to stop you from opening the hellmouth."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, do you mini-me?"

Buffy saw a small Andrew eagerly rush to Xander's side. He sat down by his leg. Suddenly he grabbed it and began to hump him.

"No! Bad mini-me, bad! What did I tell you, not in front of my arch nemesisss!" Andrew's head hung low. His eyes lifted up to gaze hungrily at Spikes leg. "He's very loyal, but I am thinking of getting rid of him. Chewed up half of my shoes. Mmm, yes, not a good thing for the First Evil to be wearing pink fluffy shoes. Hard to get respect that way."

"Why have you brought this girl from another dimension?" Spike demanded.

"Sorry Spike, but I really have no idea what you are talking about," Xander said.

"Our sources told us that you plan on opening the hellmouth that we are standing over. Releasing the demons that dwell within, and making them into clones of the worlds leaders."

"So that's why I got the place so cheap," Xander said.

"I told Giles that," Spike said.

"I wondered why there was green slime coming out of the faucets. The real estate agent told me that the locals are Irish and always dye their waters green."

"There is nothing more amoral than a real estate agent," Spike hissed.

"If you didn't kidnap Buffy, and tried to open the hellmouth, then who did?" Willow said.

"I did!" a voice declared from behind them. Spinning around, this was the last person Buffy expected to see.

"Son, don't tell me you were practicing evil behind my back. You know I hate that! Always tell daddy of your evil plans first," Xander said.

"Oz?" Buffy whispered.

"Oz Evil, First Evils son," Spike informed her.

"And Pussy Willows former boyfriend," Oz shouted.

"Oz, when will you accept it, it's over," Willow said.

"Ozzy, I told you that she was no good for you, but do you listen to your dad, no," he sighed. "Children, they are such a chore," he said to Anya.

"I agree, Doctor," Anya said.

"I never have any problems with Mr. Floppsy, do I?" he cooed to the bunny that sat in his lap. Andrew rubbed his head on Xander's leg. "And you too, mini-me. Want a Scooby snack? Here you go, fetch it!" He threw a snack away; Andrew happily fetched it.

"Dad! I'm working here, don't embarrass me in front of your nemesisss," Oz shouted.

"Yeah right son. Just remember I told you to put that girl out of your heart. Ever since she no longer had ham with her eggs,"

"Okay dad," Oz said, he looked uncomfortably at Willow.

"She doesn't like hot dogs in her bun."

"Dad, I said enough," Oz hissed.

"She wants you to hold the pastrami on her sandwich."

"We get it Dad!" Oz shouted.

"Jeez Louise Oz, I was on a frekin run here," Xander growled.

"I wanted to do something that would show you how much I love you," Oz said to Willow.

Willows eyes began to water, "You mean, you kidnapped Buffy from another dimension, talked your father into buying the high school that sat over a hellmouth. And set up an evil plan to conquer the world…just for me?"

Oz silently nodded his head. "Oh Oz, that's the sweetest thing I ever heard." She rushed to him, they met in a warm embrace.

"I think I'm going to cry," Xander said in a strained voice. "My little boy is growing up." He wiped a tear from his cheek. "His first plan to conquer the world, and he did it all by himself. I know I'm going to pop my buttons."

"I vill write it in his baby book," Anya gushed.

"Put it right after he beat up his first minion," Xander told her.

"This is not over yet," Spike said. "We must return Buffy to her dimension."

"I hate to sound picky," Giles said. "But there is also that little thing about the hellmouth opening, releasing untold demons from hell."

"I guess that could spoil Oz and Willow's reconciling," Xander said. "Yes, I think I just may have something to stop it." Standing up, he shouted, "Bring out the ball gag!"

"Bring out ze ball gag!" Anya shouted.

Slowly a giant ball gag was being lowered from the ceiling.

"That is the second largest ball gag I have ever seen," Spike said.

"Just a little something I picked up on Ebay. It was so cheap, I just couldn't resist," Xander said.

Suddenly everyone was thrown on their back, as the ground beneath them began to shake.

"Whew! What is that smell?" Xander groaned.

"Morning hellmouth," Spike said. "I hate that."

"Quick, we need to get that ball gag down there as fast as possible," Giles said.

Buffy didn't hesitate, she sprinted to the end of the platform, and leaped in the air, to land on the ball gag. Looking below, she saw steam rising from a large crack in the ground. The sound of thousands of demons could be heard from below.

"If we don't shut that mouth, we're going to be up to our armpits in demons," Xander shouted.

Buffy unhooked the chain that held the giant ball gag. Gripping the chain, she saw the gag fall into the crack. After a gasp, and a puff of smoke, the hellmouth began to close. The sound of demons below soon died.

"You did it baby!" Spike shouted to Buffy. Swinging the chain, she leapt back to the platform.

"Can I return back to my dimension now?" Buffy asked Oz.

"Sorry Buffy, but I needed a way to prove my love to Willow. If not in your dimension, then in this."

"I hope the two of you will be very happy," Buffy said. "Now, my dimension?"

Oz stepped up to her, he held a gold DVD in his hands. "This will take you back permanently."

"Before I go." She stepped up to Spike. Reaching up, she took off his glasses. Ruffling his bleached hair, she sighed, "Much better, you should keep it that way."

"You have stolen my heart Buffy. I shall never forget you." Leaning down, he whispered on her lips. "Here's a going away present." Closing her eyes, she waited for his kiss.

"Time to go home," she heard Oz say, as she felt something cold placed in her hands. "Not now!" she moaned, as she suddenly blacked out. She faintly heard someone say,

"Buffy, Buffy are you all right?"

Quickly opening her eyes, she saw Spike standing over her. She was lying on her couch. Xander, Willow, Dawn, and Anya were looking at her with concern.

"Buffy, you scared us," Willow said. "After that book hit you, you blacked out. You've been unconscious for several hours."

"I was so scared Buffy," Dawn said. She rushed to her side, holding her hand. "I'm fine," she said in a hoarse voice. "Just a bit thirsty."

"I'll get you some hot tea," Xander volunteered.

"I'll draw you a nice hot bath," Willow said. "I'll put in some herbs to make you feel better."

"I'll help Xander," Anya said. "He has a hard time boiling water."

"You sure you're all right Buffy?" Dawn said.

"I'm sure Dawny. Hey, you were supposed to go out tonight. There is still time."

"You sure?" Dawn asked her. "I mean I can stay."

She clearly saw that Dawn wanted to go. "Go on, you know I'm a fast healer."

"I'm outta here," Dawn said, as she grabbed a jacket, and rushed out the front door. Buffy was left alone with just Spike standing at the foot of the couch.

"You really did frighten us," Spike said.

"Sorry," Buffy grunted, as she sat up. Spike rushed to assist her. She lay her head on the back on her couch. Gazing up at Spike she said, "Did you ever like to sing?"

A half grin parted his lips. "How did you know that?"

She patted the couch next to her, he quickly sat down. Seeing the television set was on, she saw the DVD player was showing Attack of the Clones. It was the end of the movie, the wedding scene. Buffy looked at Spike, taking his hand, she said, "I don't know what's going to happen when we fight the First Evil. I just want you to know, that I hope you will be standing by my side in the end."

"It's always been a stormy cruise on your ship," Spike said. "I like to stay until the end."

"Then let's get this ship out of the harbor," Buffy said.

They fell into each others arms. Kissing gently at first, for the both of them, it felt like the first time they kissed. Buffy could swear, in the background, she could hear a choir of voices faintly singing,

"Where do we go from here….."

The End

F.E.: Are you glad you got your frikin happy ending? Oh yeah, I'm sure you are. Just wanted to say if anyone is interested in buying a High School with a really large Ball gag in the basement, have I got the place for you! Just send your email to 2sexy4hishirt at .


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